What Is the Funny Saying After Yiu Fart
This page is meant to help you find the funniest Fart Jokes. It includes Fart Jokes for kids, teens and adults. With fart jokes, you often get crude and immature renditions. Save yourself time by reading the best collection of jokes.
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Bass Fart
Joke: Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass
EU Fart
Joke: The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in.
Yoga Fart
Joke: "Yoga", a Hindi word meaning I hope I don't fart.
Two Airplane Mechanics Joke
Joke: Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, "I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel." Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, "How are you feeling?" Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, "Do you have a hangover?" Tim says no. Then Tim says, "Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover." Then Bob says, "Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you farted yet?" Tim says, "No, why?" Bob says, "I'm calling you from Detroit!"
Fart Cutter
Joke: What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?
Punch Line
Pharaohs Farts
Joke: If two pharaohs farted at the same time, they would have a toot in common.
Girlfriend Fart
Joke: My girlfriend said she didn't fart, but she's talking out her ass.
Writing On The Wall
Joke: When you're sitting on the toilet... The note scribbled on the wall reads: "I sit here broken hearted... I came here to shit, but only farted."
Buddy Farts
Joke: So my buddy always looks at me when he farts. I think it's just inflatuation.
Swallowing Ammunition Joke
Joke: I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home.
Fart Sword Joke
Joke: I asked my wife if she was going to make a sword out of my fart in bed last night. Cuz she schmelt it!
Switched Toothpaste Joke
Joke: I accidentally switched toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream. Now my sore tooth's better and my farts are minty fresh.
Hold A Fart Joke
Joke: Farts I hold in! You might not get it. It's sort of an inside joke.
Kids Are Like Farts
Joke: Kids are like farts, I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.
Another Difference Between Men And Women
Joke: The difference between men and women is that after being in a relationship for six months a woman wonders if it's time to say 'I love you' and a man wonders if it time to fart in bed.
German Sausage Joke
Joke: I love eating German sausage, but it always gives me the wurst farts.
Hipster Fart
Joke: I farted in a room of hipsters. I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Valentine's Day Poem
Joke: Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most.
Life Is A Bitch
Joke: Sometimes, When you are happy... no one sees your smile... When you cry ... no one sees your tears... But fart just one time!
New Frangrance
Joke: I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.
Drinking Buddies
Joke: Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......
Terrible Breath
Joke: Don had terrible breath. One weekend he and his buddy Roger went on a camping trip. They only had one tent so they would have to sleep together. Don's breath was so bad that Roger couldn't stand it in the small closed space of that tent, so he told Don everytime he wanted to say something he should poke him first, then Roger would put his head under their blanket before Don started talking. Right after hearing that, Don promptly pokes Roger who runs for cover under the blanket to hear Don whisper: "Sorry, I farted."
Irish Chili Joke
Joke: Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
Fartartist
Joke: I'm a fartartist. The fart is silent
Beer And Beans.
Joke: I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.
Weight Of A Fart
Joke: -Dad, do farts have a weight? -I don't think so -So....well, I guess I pooped myself.
Bad Voice
Joke: Your voice reminds me of a fart. It smells and nobody likes it.
Blame It On The Waiter
Joke: A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"
Bad Joke
Joke: Bad jokes are like farts, better to let them pass.
Face Mask
Joke: Thinking a face mask is going to stop Corona Virus is like thinking you underwear will stop a fart.
Two Flies On A Turd
Joke: Two flies are eating a turd. One of them farts, and the other one says "Dude, gross. I'm eating."
Silent Farts That Don't Stink
Joke: An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. "Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!" The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" The doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."
Wallet Fart
Joke: I farted in my wallet, now I have gas money.
Source: https://fart.com/fart-jokes
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